The Day I Felt I Needed a Pause

Two years ago, I stood outside my undergraduate adviser’s room for almost ten seconds before I finally had the urge to knock. We were about to discuss my plans for my thesis. I was anxious that time because I have a vague idea of what I want to do, afraid of where the consultation would lead me.

Days after, still a bit uneasy but more afraid not to graduate on time, I found myself riding a jeepney and walking to BIOTECH to meet with the principal investigator of the MykoPlus Laboratory, Dr. Zarate. (During that time, I did not know about fastest way to BIOTECH and its shuttle services, so I walked from IPB’s guard house to BIOTECH). Our consultation was not terrifying as I expected, rather, it was motivating and enlightening. And that consultation marked the start of our research on post-gold mine soil bacteria.

Fast forward to today, I am no longer working in her laboratory as I decided to pursue medical studies. However, I remained in close contact with Dr. Zarate and my undergraduate adviser, Ma’am Villa. Months ago, Dr. Zarate contacted me about an opportunity of orally presenting our study in a conference. It was not the first time she came up with that suggestion. During the last semester of my undergraduate years, she opened that I can present the study in a conference in Davao, however, I declined due to conflicts with exam schedules. As hesitant as I was, I initially thought of declining due to busy schedules. I was also struggling to balance my studies and laboratory duties as an MD-PhD student. Then, one day, I suddenly felt the heaviness of the medschool routine. I knew I needed a pause. Hence, amidst of an upcoming exams days after the conference, I messaged Dr. Zarate and said yes to attending the conference and doing the presentation.

It was a surreal moment to be standing alongside PhD professors who have done several researches under their chosen field. These were the moments that reminded me of my “why did you pursue medicine”, “why dream of becoming a physician and a scientist”.

Doing the research on post-gold mine soil bacteria opened a lot of opportunities for me and inspired me to be where I am today. I know I would not have entered the MD-PhD program if it weren’t for my thesis experience.

During that moment when I felt I needed a pause; I felt the same fear when I was about to open the door of Ma’am Villa’s room. The only difference is this time I know what I wanted to do, I’m just unsure if I’m doing the right thing.

----

Ma’am Neilyn Villa is my undergraduate thesis adviser. She is an Assistant Professor at the University of the Philippines Los Baños – Institute of Biological Sciences. Dr. Jocelyn Zarate is the principal investigator of the MykoPlus laboratory who also served as my mentor during the conduct of the study.

MD-PhD program is a degree offered by the UP College of Medicine which aims to train aspiring physician-scientists for careers dedicated to the pursuit of basic and applied biomedical research. (Description from upcm website)

photo grabbed from ANRRC website